AFFIRMING THERAPIST FOR COUPLES AND RELATIONSHIPS IN MICHIGAN AND FLORIDA
Consensual Non Monogomy
Michigan Polyamory Therapist in Detroit and across MI and FL
Am I polyamorous? Do I want an open relationship? Are we doing this “right”?
You are struggling to communicate your needs to your partners. Dealing with jealousy and scared shitless your relationship is changing in ways you are not prepared for. Your relationship health is on the line. You are concerned your partners are going to find someone else and leave forever, or that you won’t live up to your partner’s other partners. You told your partner you want an open relationship and things have not been the same since.
Do you feel lost and unsure about what’s next?
Ever since the conversation about polyamory and opening your relationship began you have been struggling to fight back tears, overwhelmed, and scared. Your work is suffering and you cant sleep or eat. You may be replaying over and over in your head all that you stand to lose by opening your relationship and fear has a grip on you.
Some topics people seeking polyamory therapy or open relationship therapy may be interested in addressing:
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How do we figure out “rules” and “parameters”
Jealousy
How the hell are we gonna handle conflict with more people when we cant even discuss difficult topics just the two of us?
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Where do we even start?
My partner said they are polyamorous, I am monogomous, now what?
I just heard about polyamory and opening a relationship, where do I go from here?
How can I let go of the security I feel when monogomous?
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Someone cheated and now we might want to open our relationship?
Repair
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We have been doing this for years and need a tune up or overhaul
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Am I poly? Am I polyamorous?
Everyone is coming to polyamory and opening their relationships from a different place.
There are so many different ways to be polyamorous or to have open relationships.
The good news is, you get to have enriching and deep conversations with those you want to be in relationship with and decide what works.
Bringing your unsaid expectations to the table and laying out all of your wants and desires is an excellent way of moving toward actually getting what you want. This applies no matter your relationship orientation.
Feeling as though you dont know where to begin can be an incredibly overwhelming place to be in.
Exploring opening your relationship and consensual non monogamy can be incredibly scary and our culture doesn’t exactly set us up to try something different.
You keep talking to friends who seem to know what they are doing and have it all together, what you aren’t seeing is that everyone doubts themselves and all relationships take communication and work.
Your Relationship Past
This is the stage where we will assess your relationship up until this point. Considering dynamics of communication and connection that could use some tweaking to better improve your lives.
Your Relationship Present
We will explore what is going on currently within your relationship and address any concerns about polyamory and open relationships that are impacting you.
Your Relationship Future
We will explore what each of you wants individually and what you want relationally.
I will give you tools, insight, and space to figure out the best relationship style for you.
When you are overwhelmed with the current state of your relationships, it is difficult to see the path forward.
Moving toward a space of connection and understanding, trust and transparency can improve your relationships with one another as well as with yourselves.
You begin to discuss things before they become a huge issue and state your feelings and needs even when they are in contrast to your partners. You set boundaries without second guessing yourself and are able to name your own experience instead of focusing on what you think is going on for your partner(s).
You are present and more connected than you have been in who knows how long and the arguments that used to spin you out for days are repaired quickly and thoroughly.
Therapy for Polyamory and Non monogamy can help you:
Have difficult conversations
Clearly state your boundaries and desires
Explore what you actually want out of your relationships
Build intimacy through improved communication
Name and address jealousy
Stop making assumptions about relationship boundaries and get explicit
Frequently asked questions about polyamory affirming therapy
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Typically I like to meet with everyone individually at least once at the beginning of our work together. This is an excellent time for me to do some solo assessing, get to know you a bit outside of your relationships, and discuss your family of origin and any related patterns you may already be aware of.
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I think the biggest factor in couples/relationship therapy “working” is seeking therapy before things are desperate in your relationships. That does not mean to avoid therapy if you are really at a crisis point in your relationship, simply that in an ideal world you would reach out before you get there. Another important factor is doing the assignments and skills between sessions. If you are meeting with your therapist for an hour a week, there are so many other hours of that week to be practicing your new skills.
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Therapy can be scary. Many many many people are worried about being judged or shamed for how they move through the world. It makes a lot of sense your partners may be reluctant. Often when we have a discussion with a partner and get curious about how they are feeling and what they are thinking they feel as though they are an active participant in the discussion. I will send you paperwork that asks you to reflect on what you individually want to do to improve your relationships, go into a conversation with your partner with a similar mindset.
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I cant tell you how many times this has been a concern from potential clients. Worried I am going to judge them and will be sitting here nailing it and absolutely perfect in all of my relationships. WRONG. News flash, I am also human and royally mess up my own life. However, I do have skills and training to bring things back around and that I can share with you to do the same. I think it is human nature to judge others, but I try really hard to put myself in peoples place and find the pain, if I can find the pain and where people are stuck I can be empathetic and understanding. Besides, judging clients doesn’t usually do so well in helping them make the changes they want to make. I have seen judgmental therapists myself and that is a HARD PASS for me!
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I am not in the business of telling you what relationship style works for you and your relationships. What I will do is support you with information, tools, explorations, and communication improvement that enables you to make this choice for yourselves.