Understanding the Potential and Process of Couples Therapy
Couples Counseling in Lansing, MI and across Michigan with couples therapist B Snogles. Couples counseling can be a transformative experience for many relationships, but whether it will work for you depends on several factors. Here’s a closer look at what couples counseling involves, how it can help, and what you can do to maximize its effectiveness.
1. What is Couples Counseling?
Couples counseling, also known as marriage therapy or relationship therapy, is a process where a trained therapist helps partners navigate relationship challenges. The aim is to improve communication, resolve conflicts, and foster emotional intimacy. Seeking a couples therapist can be beneficial at any point in a relationship, reaching out before your entire relationship is on fire is even better.
2. Signs That Couples Counseling May Help
Communication Breakdown: If you find it difficult to discuss feelings or resolve conflicts, a therapist can provide tools and strategies to enhance your communication skills. One way to think about this, if you seem to have the same fight over and over and cant come to any sort of resolution, seeking the support of a well trained couples therapist is key.
Recurrent Arguments: Constantly arguing over the same issues can indicate deeper problems that counseling can help address. Learning how to not only have conflict in a healthy way but come to resolution and repair is a key element of couples therapy.
Loss of Intimacy: If emotional or physical intimacy has diminished, therapy can help you explore the underlying causes and reconnect. Working with an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist can be incredibly helpful on your journey toward renewed emotional and sexual connection.
Life Transitions: Major life changes (like having a baby, job loss, or moving, marriage) can strain relationships. Counseling can offer support during these transitions. If you are struggling to move through transition, seeking the support of a relationship therapist can be incredibly beneficial.
Desire for Growth: Even if things seem fine, couples often seek therapy to deepen their understanding of each other and strengthen their bond. Seeking support to prepare your relationship for the long haul is a sign of relational strength.
3. How Couples Counseling Works
Assessment: The therapist will start by assessing the relationship, gathering information about each partner’s perspectives and concerns. Many couples therapists will begin with a couples session then meet with each partner individually to assess their life before and during the relationship.
Goal Setting: Together, you’ll establish goals for therapy, whether it’s improving communication, resolving specific conflicts, or rekindling intimacy. The goal setting process of couples therapy is a necessary step toward understanding your stuck points and assessing your individual motivation for change.
Skill Building: Therapists often provide tools for effective communication, conflict resolution, and emotional expression. Many couples therapists provide work to complete outside of session, to better utilize time and make progress more quickly.
Exploring Patterns: Understanding negative patterns and behaviors can help couples break cycles of conflict and resentment. Having an unbiased outsider help you take a deeper look at your own behavior in your relationships can really help you narrow down and select goals that will benefit your relationship in the long term.
Homework: Many therapists assign exercises or “homework” to practice new skills outside of sessions, reinforcing what you’ve learned.
4. Factors Influencing Success
Willingness to Participate: Both partners need to be open to the process and willing to engage in honest discussions. This does not mean that both partners need to be excited about couples therapy, many people show up to couples therapy unsure what their level of engagement will be. Showing up with a willing attitude can be just enough to get the ball rolling toward lasting change.
Commitment to Change: Success requires a commitment to making changes in behaviors and thought patterns. This is more difficult than many people realize, especially with marriage counseling. Many times clients come to couples therapy expecting the therapist to side with them and tell their partner to change. However, a well trained therapist is not there to pick sides, instead to hold you both accountable to individual and relational growth and change.
Therapist-Client Fit: Finding a therapist who both partners feel comfortable with is crucial. Don’t hesitate to switch therapists if needed. According to research, one of the biggest indicators of therapy success is fit of therapist. Feeling comfortable and a connection with your therapist is paramount.
Time and Patience: Change takes time. Be patient with yourselves and the process. When you commit to couples therapy and continuously do the work the change will come.
5. Common Misconceptions
It’s Only for “Broken” Relationships: Couples counseling can be beneficial for any relationship, not just those in crisis.
Therapists Take Sides: A good therapist will remain neutral and support both partners in expressing their feelings and finding common ground.
Counseling Will Fix Everything: While therapy can facilitate change, both partners must be committed to doing the work outside of sessions.
6. Conclusion
Couples counseling can be a powerful tool for improving relationships, but its effectiveness largely depends on the willingness of both partners to engage in the process. If you’re considering therapy, approach it with an open mind and a commitment to growth. With the right support and effort, couples counseling can lead to deeper understanding, renewed intimacy, and a healthier relationship overall.
If you're considering couples counseling, remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and a commitment to nurturing your relationship. Embrace the journey!
B Snogles is a couples therapist in Detroit and across Michigan. Contact B today to schedule your first appointment.
