Understanding Sexual Desire with Sex Therapist B Snogles
Sexual desire is a complex and often misunderstood aspect of human experience. Society, media, and even well-meaning friends and family can perpetuate myths and misconceptions about what constitutes "normal" sexual desire. This creates a mess in relationships, when expectations and misinformation run amuck. To foster a more informed and healthy understanding, let's explore some common myths and facts about sexual desire.
Myth 1: Sexual Desire is Always Spontaneous
Fact: While some people experience spontaneous desire, it's not the only way sexual desire manifests. Sexual arousal can be responsive, meaning it develops in reaction to certain stimuli or contexts. For many individuals, desire arises more naturally through intimacy, emotional connection, or sexual activity rather than spontaneously. This is often confusing for many couples, as they start their relationship seemingly willing to be sexual anywhere at any time. This shifts when the new relationship energy fades, and to be honest when the hormones that snatch your brain dissipate, and many couples believe their relationship is now in trouble.
Myth 2: High Sexual Desire is Always Healthy
Fact: Sexual desire varies greatly among individuals and can fluctuate due to various factors such as stress, hormonal changes, and relationship dynamics. A high level of sexual desire is not inherently indicative of health or well-being. What's more important is whether your sexual desire aligns with your overall life satisfaction and personal comfort. It is important to remember, as we age and our hormones fluctuate so does our desire. If we continue to expect our bodies to be as they were in our 20s, we may be sorely disappointed.
Myth 3: A Lack of Sexual Desire Indicates a Problem
Fact: A decrease in sexual desire can be perfectly normal and is often influenced by factors like stress, fatigue, hormonal changes, or relationship issues. It only becomes a concern if it causes distress or impacts your quality of life. Communication with partners and seeking professional guidance can be helpful in addressing any underlying issues. Speaking to a sex therapist can help you better understand and address what your lack of sexual desire means and shifts you would like to make to address it.
Myth 4: Men Always Want Sex More Than Women
Fact: Sexual desire is highly individual and not dictated by gender stereotypes. While societal norms often portray men as having higher sexual desire, research shows that desire levels vary widely among all genders. Everyone can experience high or low sexual desire, and these levels can change over time. It is not uncommon for desire shifts to impact relationships, desire discrepancies where one person is more interested than the other is an excellent reason to seek couples and Sex therapy.
Myth 5: Sexual Desire Should be the Same Throughout a Relationship
Fact: Sexual desire naturally fluctuates over the course of a relationship. Factors such as emotional connection, life stressors, and physical health can influence sexual desire. These changes are normal and don't necessarily indicate problems in the relationship. Open communication and mutual understanding can help partners navigate these fluctuations. Many relationships begin with an intensity in sexual attraction and connection that the rest of the relationship is then compared to. Your hormones are raging, so much so that your judgment is skewed and you may make decisions and moves you will not make further into a relationship, once your hormones have settled and you can think clearly again. All of this is typical, it makes sense that things slow down and desire shifts, ebbing and flowing throughout the relationship.
Myth 6: Sexual Desire is the Same as Sexual Behavior
Fact: Sexual desire and sexual behavior are related but distinct concepts. Desire refers to the internal experience of wanting sex, while behavior pertains to the actions taken. A person may have a high level of sexual desire but choose not to act on it due to personal values, relationship agreements, or other factors. Sexual desire can be satisfied in many ways and when someone experiences high sexual desire that is distressing to them or their relationships, it is best to seek the support of a sex therapist.
Conclusion
Understanding sexual desire involves looking beyond stereotypes and myths to recognize the diverse and nuanced ways it manifests in individuals. By debunking these myths and embracing a more factual and empathetic approach, we can foster healthier attitudes and relationships with our own desires and those of others.
In navigating sexual desire, remember that personal experiences and needs are valid. Open communication, self-reflection, and education are key to fostering a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your own sexuality. When you feel stuck or need support, reach out to a sex therapist. B Snogles is a sex therapist and couples counselor in Michigan accepting new clients today!
